...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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