your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
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