Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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