Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
