I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
