1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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