it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
