you win again, gameday.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
