Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
