"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
