my mouth tastes like poor choices
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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