I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
