I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
