If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The power of my boobs compel you
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
