it was like eating out sand paper
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
