are you still at the devil's house?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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