i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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