some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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