Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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