Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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