is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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