Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
