I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
