You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
