I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize