o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
