a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
