so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
