Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
