Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
