wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
