And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
