If that was your dad, he is hot
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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