youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
