i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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