What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
