I want to walk on stilts...naked
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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