I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
