Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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