I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
