He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
