we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Come on in and take your pants off
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