Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
