I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
