I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
