I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
