Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize