Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
