Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize