guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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