you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
