Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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