He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
