My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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