You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
