It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
