i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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