peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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