so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
