My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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