Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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