Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
