so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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