Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
