apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize