i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
