Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
where are my eyebrows?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
