oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize