wat bout pragnant strippers??
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
