The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Randomize
