Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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