YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
