Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
