You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
