I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
im holly from the hills drunk
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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