Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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