you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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