Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
