Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
