it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
