I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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